Troels Græsholt-Knudsen: "I used the university's psychological counselling service during my PhD"

At a morning conference during my residency, I presented a child who had come in with a big bruise on its forehead. I could see that the senior hospital physician had taken note of the bruise and was interested in the case, but I was also aware that I had no idea what to do about the uneasy suspicion I had because of the mark. There was too little Danish research into child abuse, and the evidence was scant. I wanted to contribute to the field and in 2013 I began on my PhD to examine the subject. To my knowledge, I’m still the only medical doctor in Denmark who uses registry data to conduct research on preventing child abuse.

I used the university's psychological counselling service during my PhD. Every time I promised someone something, my children got sick. I was going crazy. That’s why I contacted the counselling service. The consultations helped. It’s hard when you want to do so much and you also want to be a good father, partner, friend – and yes, even just a good citizen. It doesn't add up, and you can't be everything to everyone, at least not at the same time. I’ve got better at living with the fact that you just can’t do it all.

I've missed my son's birthday more than once because I've been at conferences. It's bloody irritating, and I regret it. And yet. My children are being raised with the idea that they have to contribute to the world. I am occasionally away for a week at a time, or I have really busy periods at work, and then mum holds down the fort at home. Sometimes it's the other way around when my partner is busy at work. Being a researcher sometimes comes at a cost, but I'm not an absent father. I make an effort to be there and spend time with the children.

There's an exercise bike under my desk. I use it while I’m doing something incredibly boring, like reviewing 19,000 abstracts. It’s crucial for my productivity that I keep my body moving. My colleagues can always tell when I’m doing something difficult that requires my full attention because my pace on the exercise bike drops considerably.

I took Jon Kabat-Zinn's evidence-based mindfulness course and meditate for 10 minutes every other day. Usually at home. I make better decisions when I have a clear head. I used to be in a choir and do martial arts. But now I find that I don't have time for an actual hobby or to see my friends as much as I’d like to. When you're a father and a researcher, there's actually not a lot of time left for much else. But I enjoy what I do, and I think it's cool.

The press is one of my priorities. Because they work with short deadlines and they need quick answers, but mostly because they play an important role. The media can build bridges between researchers at the university and the world around us. It's important that people other than myself and my colleagues see the value that I create, and it would be really nice if researchers were better at communicating and policy-makers were better at listening. The press is the obvious link here.

ChatGPT has become my new best friend. AI will be the next big life hack, and it’s already making my life a lot easier. I have to collate three of my articles into something more popular and easier to understand, and the chatbot has given me a good starting point to work with. I'll be getting ChatGPT 4 soon. That’s going to be great.

I think it’s an enormous democratic problem if pharmaceutical companies get to use research funding to decide what research we should do. If we want new knowledge to be controlled democratically and not by large corporations, then as a society we need to invest in non-targeted research. This is an issue that’s very close to my heart.

I’m incredibly stubborn and I feel I have a duty to contribute. I'm in a unique position because there aren't many doctors in the world who research children and abuse like I do. And when there’s no one else, it's my job to fill that void as best I can. I need purpose in what I do. And my work satisfies that need to the fullest.

I’m driven by my mission; that children should be able to grow up in reasonable safety. I’m extremely happy to be doing my research at the Department of Forensic Medicine. The department has shown incredible support for both myself and my mission. The department is a good fit for me and I’m a good fit for them. I’m grateful for that.