Marina Romero-Ramos: "This is the profession I chose. I love research"

When I was going to international conferences, I sometimes dropped the kids off with my mother in Spain, and then I flew on. Sometimes I brought both my mother and kids with me. I divorced in 2012 and have since been a single mother of two. Today they're 17 and 20 years old and look after themselves, but back then it took planning and creative solutions to make things work, since my primary network was at the other end of Europe.

I’m both a scientist and a mother. In practice, it’s impossible to separate the two. When you have children and become a family, things change, and you are suddenly forced to reconsider everything. Everything. You have to accept that having children comes with certain professional limitations. Family will affect your career, and you may not be able to achieve the same as your colleagues who don’t have children. That’s just how it is.

I never missed out on anything when my children were at school. On the other hand, I never volunteered for any specific tasks or positions related to their schooling. I also said no to playdates on weekdays, but the children's friends were always more than welcome on weekends, which for my part were 100% work-free while the children were young. The children have always known my terms and what my career entailed and required. So I’ve also been able to say: “I’ve been operating on animals the whole day. It was really hard work. Now I'm tired. Let’s do this tomorrow, please.” Those days, we had pasta for diner.

During my maternity leave, I still went to the lab, if possible, every week, and while I was in meetings, my child played in the corner. The good thing about Denmark is that everybody understands when you have to leave early to pick up your children. It’d be perceived as unprofessional in many other countries. However, you can’t head a research group or a research project and then be completely out of the loop for many months. It’s impossible. The research never stops and doesn't wait for you, so you have to make a good plan with your lab manager, or you have to accept that others will take your place temporarily. And I usually tell my early career researchers that there’s never a “best time” to become a parent. It is not a decision based on your work, but on your personal life.

The younger generation appreciates their free time. And to be honest there's not always much of that as a researcher in academia. After all, you can never really just shut down life as a researcher. You take the work with you wherever you go. Also, there’s always plenty of extra work waiting for you. More than 37 hours. Right now, I'm grading 40 papers, I have to do my research and I have to manage my lab. But it's no surprise. I've known this from the start, although it does not always make it easier. But, of course, I also enjoy my work-free time with friends and family when possible.

The hardest thing about life as a researcher is saying no. I actually feel bad if I say no, because then I’m just passing the buck to others. There are not that many others to choose from for certain tasks. On the other hand, I always say yes to being a PhD opponent and to participating in international meetings and talks. These are opportunities to show off your research to the rest of the world and expand your network. And I admit I’m also a little flattered by the invitation.

I spend a lot of time writing funding applications. I’d much rather write research articles. Administration also takes up more and more of my time, which is annoying. On some days, although I feel that I've worked a lot, I don't feel I've really moved ahead on anything.

The system often ends up rewarding researchers who do many of the things that are implicitly expected of you, but which are unpaid and often invisible. Sitting on committees, being a board member, editing for a journal, chairing a PhD defence or peer reviewing articles. It all takes time. Time you could also spend moving your own research forward.

As all my colleagues, I work a lot and I work hard, but this is the profession I chose. I love research. I love my lab. I’m lucky and privileged to have a good team that gets along well and helps each other – also on the long days.